So, you can disagree without being disagreeable.

Have you ever worked with someone who just seems to be constantly, well, disagreeable? No matter what they do, they always manage to create tension or rub people the wrong way?

A lot of the time, it’s not just a lack of skill—there’s usually some frustration or disgruntlement underneath it all. It’s like, “You’re ticking me off, so let me get a little jab in there.” And when that behavior gets allowed to slide, it leads to all sorts of crazy-making situations.

It’s also what fuels unhealthy workplace cultures. And yet, in so many organizations, no one really addresses this kind of behavior.

So, when you’re bringing in new employees, make it clear right from the start that you expect them to disagree. You didn’t hire them to just nod and agree with everything you say. You hired them because you want them to think, challenge, and offer different perspectives. But how they challenge matters.

A mentor of mine once told me years ago to never say, “I disagree.” Instead, say, “I see that differently.” It’s such a simple change, but it shifts everything. Suddenly, you’re not being combative. You’re just offering a different perspective. You’re saying, “I get where you’re coming from, but here’s how I see it,” and you can have a conversation about it. The tone and the words really matter here.

Now, when you’ve got someone on your team who’s constantly disagreeable—who thinks it’s okay to disrupt the flow of things just because they believe they know better—that’s a problem. And here’s the thing: It’s not just about that one person. If they’re allowed to act out like that, it impacts everyone around them. The other eight people in the room, for example, will feel it. They’re walking on eggshells, dreading work, and probably not eager to bring in their friends to join the team. And, let’s be honest, they’re counting down the days until they retire.

As leaders, part of your job is to deal with those who disagree in toxic ways, so they don’t drain the energy from the room. That’s what it means to be an executive. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary.

Like I mentioned a couple weeks ago, you’ve got to have the backbone to address these things. When you do, you don’t have to be disagreeable about it. You can just say, “Here’s how we do things around here. We expect everyone to do things this way. Do we agree on that? Can I hold you accountable? Great. Then we’re good to go.”

It’s about setting the tone and making it clear that while you encourage disagreement, you don’t tolerate being disagreeable.

Want to foster healthy disagreement and build a more productive team? Get the tools and insights you need to create a positive, high-performance culture—click here to download our exclusive resources today and start transforming your workplace.

To your continued success, 

Roxanne Emmerich 

Please watch the video above and share it with your exec team and board.